Psychoanalytic Psychotherapy in Edinburgh

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+44(0)131 281 5115
94/23 Inchview Terrace
07876 744 753

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I came late to my profession. It grew out of a sense of dissatisfaction and being unaware of what it meant to feel fulfilled, leading to a sense of emptiness and shame. I was in the RAF at this nadir point and fell back on my family's faith as if to make amends for a selfish life. What followed was seven years at university at St Andrews, where I discovered a love of literature and a desire to write, and in Edinburgh, where I studied theology only to realise years later that organised religious ritual as an attempt to escape a wilderness was not the right path, and felt the need for therapy and through that the desire to train as a therapist. I learned of many approaches and theories but was still in the wilderness. I knew I needed to touch the depths and had a hunch that psychoanalysis would reach the depths. I began ten years of therapy with an analyst. I can pinpoint the moment that it became clear. That was when my analyst said with some conviction I was facing the danger of apathy. What struck me was this was not something to deny or seek to escape from; it was to be endured. I came across a sentence towards the end of a novel about the holocaust. It is a brilliant book written by a Croatian. He is writing here as it were his obituary, addressing those who tried to dehumanise others like himself. Here it is: Thanks to suffering and madness, I have had a finer, richer life than any of you, and I wish to go to my death with dignity. The book is a masterpiece. It is called Hourglass

Ok I am a late developer with a long adolescence! Looking back my sense is of having lived several lives but through the mist there runs a thread. At last I came to terms with the need to be in a wilderness. Another way of saying that is accepting the insecurity of not knowing. I will always remember what my grandfather (a revered Doctor of Divinity) said to me once, when I told him I had written a poem, but was ashamed to show it to him because it reflected a pessimistic sense of emptiness. 'Not knowing is not a bugbear', he told me. You can't force inspiration, but only let it come to you as it were in the desert.' This is at the heart of how I see a Psychoanalytic approach, not as a system of intellectual categories. Its rich potential is in the capacity to wait with another for inspiration, to receive what we both need to discover in order to be ourselves.

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tel: 0131 281 5115
East Edinburgh
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